You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
