Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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