last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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