His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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