It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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