Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
