If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Im part way to drunk.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
