Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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