i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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