And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
