oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
