saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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