Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
