Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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