Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
