i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
