if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
