I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
