yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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