So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
