It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
