I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
