So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
