I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
