Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
