Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
