For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
