at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
