i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
