The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
