is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
