Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
