I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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