You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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