A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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