Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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