She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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