you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
