two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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