So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
please don't ironically join a cult
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