chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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