he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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