remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
