yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
