You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
