Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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