I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
