no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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