I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
