i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
it hurts more in the daytime
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
